The Weasley Potion Muddle
by Scott the Wanderer
Summary: For those of us who thought that more than half the Weasley relationships were caused by Amortentia, but still believe they are good people at heart.


Dislaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related

"Listen up, Phlegm, we are going to have a conversation about my brother." Ginny Weasley could be an intimidating force of nature despite being four years younger than the Veela she had herself in a room with. "Merlin knows I love Bill dearly, which is why I am pissed as hell that you have to use Amortentia to be with him."

Fleur paled significantly. ~How does she know?~ Turning to face the younger witch the former TriWizard Champion palmed her wand. While she was not going to throw hexes, Fleur was not willing to suffer any. "I assure you, Ginerva, that I 'ave not ever dosed Beel."

"Pfft, of course you haven't Phlegm. Every straight man in Britian and more than half the women would cut off their right arm just to be with you." Ginny scoffed. "You've been dosing yourself. I want to know why."

"I 'ave not!" Fleur started to protest but like any other time she had lied it fell flat. Seeing the raised eyebrow the younger redhead, her resolve to keep her secret faltered. "I like Beel, but ma coeur…it belongs to another. I cannot 'ave 'im, so I make myself love a very good man 'oo would treat me like love of 'is life."

"What is it with this family and needing love potions?" Ginny threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Bill has been dosing himself to love a certain Veela who is chasing him around. Dad was so shy that mum needed a mild one to get him over it. If I hadn't read his old diary I would have thought she was poaching. Hermione thinks she isn't head over heels for Ron and has been dosing herself. Ron thinks the same way and been dosing himself. Less said about Percy and girls in general the better. Charlie is so focused on dragons some girl is gonna need Amortentia just to get his Floo Address. Harry dosed himself to like Cho and then me!. Am I the only one not using potions?"

"Wait? 'Arry 'as dosed 'imself? Vraiment?" Fleur had not expected the explosion, or the mass of insecurities. "Why?"

"Because he is in love with you!" Ginny continued her rant. "But he knew you were completely out of this league!"

"What? Non! Non! Non! 'Arry cannot be in love wiz moi!" Fleur shook her head in fierce denial. She had long ago come to that conclusion, especially when he had not come to her after the Second Task. She had made it clear that she was his and he had not claimed her. She had wanted to die. "Zhere must be someone else."

"No, not even remotely. Do you know he's still a virgin? There isn't a girl at Hogwarts who hasn't offered themselves to him. He's turned them all down flat." Ginny stated simply. "Well, not completely. He's promised to father children for a few of the Heiresses, but even that he said had to wait until they were twenty five. Susan Bones was very upset to hear that stipulation."

"But you and he are dating. He obviously loves you. You must be mistaken about ze Amortentia." Fleur grasped at the only straws she had to protect her sanity. ~Did I misread Harry's inaction? Did I not make myself clear to him?~

"Oh he loves me, like a sister. Same way he loves Hermione." Ginny waved off Fleur's last claim. "He knows that I am with another woman. He's just acting as our beard like Michael and Seamus were. Well he did promise to sire a few kids for each of us, but we have the same waiting period as the others."

"For someone who loves me 'Arry is promising to sleep with a lot of different women." Fleur frowned heavily. While she was not averse to sharing her man with women who might need him, she would prefer it was her doing the offering.

"And you're marrying Bill. Maybe he just wants a taste of what he'll never get because he's too stubborn to give up on his plan to let you be happy. You know that don't you. He thinks you are happy with Bill. It kills him every time you flash Bill that adoring smile. The one caused by almost lethal levels of Amortentia." Ginny spat. "You do know you can't drink that when you carry a child. The love potion is going to wear off for the fifteen months that Veela carry a child. Fifteen months of carrying Bill's child when you are still desperately in love with Harry. No to mention when you breastfeed. I understand for Veela it makes them extremely amorous, but it won't be Harry who satisfies those urges. It will be the man who is drinking Amortentia just to stay with you."

Fleur's eyes were almost comically wide as stared a Ginny. The realities of her future were looming before her now and they were a nightmare made real. "Non…non…I cannot do zhat, Ginny…I…cannot."

"Do you love my brother?"

"As a friend. Only as a friend…my best friend aside from Tonks." Fleur let the tears flow down her cheeks as she thought of what had nearly happened. "I do not wish to hurt him. What can I do?"

"Stop the potion. If you do that, I will sabotage everyone else's, including Harry's. If Luna is right, there will be a much brighter future ahead of all of us." Ginny offered a genuine smile. "Oh, and I want two children. One when I am twenty and one at twenty three. My Lover wants five, but she's flexible on time."

"Of course, of course, anyzing you want, Ginny."

* * *

><p>Omake?<p>

"I told you it would work." Luna sing-songed as her girlfriend entered the room. Jumping up she pulled Ginny into a warm hug. "Now all we need to do is convince Tonks to join us."

"That should be easy enough. Remus has been using Viagra for years to be with women." Narcissa Malfoy shook her head. "My niece suffers the same condition as all Veela and Metamorphmagi. We cut off his supply and insinuate that Remus stopped taking love potions and they'll be divorced in a month."

"I thought you liked Remus." Cho Chang's brow furrowed as she tried to follow the elder woman's thinking. Narcissa was their potion's supplier and the Ravenclaw had been trying to figure her end goal for some time now.

"Oh, I do. Very much so. Who do you think will slip in and console the poor man? I'll need to be properly widowed first, however. That and my 'son' returned to her proper gender." Narcissa grinned. "Can you think of any better way to completely destroy my so called husband's ideology than to make a Werewolf the new Lord Malfoy? As for Delphine, well Ron and Hermione have consented to take her as a consort."

"Oh, that is just cruel, just cruel." Katie Bell chuckled. "Ginny, I've been meaning to ask you. Is that entire potions story the truth?"

"Well, not exactly. I fudged on two parts. Hermione and Ron are not dosed at all." Ginny replied with a shrug. "Bill is being dosed, by me, specifically to set all this up. I have such trusting brothers."

"I still cannot believe the lot of you were not sorted into Slytherin." Daphne huffed at the other young ladies.

"Oh, that's simple Daphne. The cunning and ambitious go to Slytherin. The sneaky go to Gryffindor. The manipulative are in Ravenclaw." Luna responded with a dreamy voice.

"And Hufflepuff?"

"We're the evil masterminds and we always get away with it. With a few token goodie two shoes like Tonks, nobody suspects us until we own them." Susan Bones grinned wide. "Harry Potter will be ours ladies, we just need to work on Fleur Delacour."


End file.
